Top – Zara
Skirt – Topshop
Belt – Primark
Shoes – Kurt Geiger
Socks – Primark
Bag – Mulberry
I looked back at my old posts and realised that I posted my first few blogposts in the early weeks of January 2012, so I have been writing this blog for pretty much two years now. And to be honest I’m getting a bit disillusioned with it. I look at people that have only been doing it for a few months or a year that have hundreds or thousands of followers and I just think what am I doing wrong? I know the point of a blog isn’t to have thousands of followers but I feel like I must just be useless at blogging. In the two years I have been blogging I have gained 20 followers on Bloglovin and just over 20 on GFC. I am so grateful to those followers because without them I would feel even crapper about my blog. I didn’t set out thinking ‘oh I’m going to be a massive blogger and have loads of followers’, but I have just ended up feeling like I’m not very good at blogging because not many people want to follow me, and in the past day I have actually lost followers on both Bloglovin and GFC, which makes me feel even more like giving up.
It’s hard because I read all these blog posts about how to grow your blog and so many of them say ‘keep working at it and in time followers will come’, but how long should I keep working before it seems pointless? I comment on other blogs, I don’t spam, I leave nice comments about the post, but this hasn’t done much for me. I share my posts on Twitter and Instagram to try and connect with people, but that hasn’t helped.
I set out to become part of the blogging community and I feel like I have failed at it. Maybe I should have tried more, or commented more in my early stages, because to begin with I was too nervous to comment people. Now I comment almost every post I read. I said at the start of 2013 I wanted to make friends through blogging, and that hasn’t happened. I just feel a bit lost as to what to do now.
I enjoy writing my blog, taking photos for it and putting it all together. Like many other people say, it is my baby. But its gotten to the point where other bloggers’ achievements in such short spaces of time have made me really look at my blog and wonder where I’m going wrong. I know you shouldn’t compare yourself to others, but it is hard not to.
I also find myself at a point in my life where I’ve worked hard for 3 years to get a degree which now pretty much means nothing in the job world because I don’t have enough experience. So I’m working for free, which knocks your self esteem. I’m also back living at home, which is hard when you’ve lived your own life for 3 years away in another city and you have to come back to living with your mum. I’ve developed my own way of living, which clashes a bit with my mum, so I want to move out. But with the job problem, thats not possible. So I find myself in this loop of not feeling great. Especially when I see people I went to school with who didn’t go to uni already living alone with full time jobs. All of this compacted with not feeling great about my blog has made me question carrying on working on my blog because its just another thing that I feel like I haven’t done very well at.
I don’t know whether to carry on with this little blog, or to give up, because at the moment its making me more miserable than it is making me happy.
This post has been completely self-indulgent and just a way to let my inner thoughts out somehow, so if you took the time to read then thank you. I didn’t start blogging to become ‘big’ but its come to a point where bothering to take time out to post to what feels like just myself is a bit demoralising.
But for anyone who does read my blog regularly, I truly thank you from the bottom of my heart because that means a lot to me.
So maybe I will continue, maybe I won’t. Maybe I just need some time off to think about things.